Feeling Like Christmas

As the Christmas season, I was really struggling with feeling the joy and spirit of the holiday. Our Christmas decorations were up, I was working on presents, had my Christmas shopping done, and everything seemed to be going fine, but I was still kind of grumpy and not feeling the way I wanted to about Christmas. Well I decided to change that. It started with a prayer, a prayer to be able to feel the Joy of Christmas both the spiritual blessing that it is and the joy and magic of it as well. Well, I testify that God hears and answers prayers and here is how he helped ME feel Christmas.

It started with the ward Christmas party. Sure it was silly and fun with good food. However, the part they focused on was the quote from Polar Express that says something like "The bell still rings for those who believe." It just resonated with me in wanting to believe in the joy, the excitement, and of course more in my Savior. It was also fun to see Kylee experience Santa for the first time. She did sit on his lap and chat with him, but the first thing she did was ask him for a candy cane and one for Mom. It was so cute and really so selfless. It was a great start to this season.

Kylee with Santa and her candy canes.

Next was just some little things. 

I was able to find joy in my sewing projects. As many of you know sewing is not something I usually enjoy, but I really have and I feel very accomplished. It helped me love my children more. It got me a little giddy about creating something that they will enjoy and can use.  You will have to see my Christmas post to see pics of the PJs and Tia's stocking, but it was so fun to create something.

I got to talk with my cousin Lisa and others. This was a blessing because one I don't get to talk much to her, but also it made me slow down and realize that the time is now and sometimes other things just need to wait.

Christmas movies. We have watched probably about 6 Christmas movies in about 2 weeks. They have been so quirky and funny. Gaupo and I have really enjoyed that time together and just the way those movies have brought us together. 

I was able to talk to my neighbors about our beliefs. Not preach to them, but I invited them to the Nativity (which they were out of town for), but because I did it opened the door for them to ask questions, to see what we had in common, and to just talk. To be neighborly. It was awesome because I haven't been able to crack that door in three years.

The next big thing to happen after the Christmas party was our Bishop's challenge to give to the Savior by attending the temple this month. That was also another answered prayer because I have been wanting to go with my family and with traffic and the holidays I didn't think it was possible, but when our leaders challenge us to do something Gaupo does and so we said "OK, we have this weekend." (Dec. 13) We went and did Initiatory so we could switch off with the girls. It was so awesome. Probably to coolest experience I had was when Kylee want to go into the temple. I said okay we just go in the front little part (I would later find out they don't really want you to do this). So, we went and as I entered peace and stillness flooded me like I have never felt before. I think Kylee and Tia felt it too because I didn't have to tell them to be quiet and Kylee really wanted to keep going. I have never really noticed the difference between the grounds and inside the temple before, but it hit me that day. Then it was so fun to watch Kylee and Tia around the Christus. They loved to look at it and they wanted to play it was just so cute and special.

Kylee and Tia in front of the Denver Temple.

They are too cute not to have two pictures.

Then the other thing that has helped me with the feel Christmas is an experience I had when I found out one of my friends had some big plans fall through. When I first heard my heart literally ached for them, like it hurt. Then as the day progressed it lessened, but then I heard some of the consequences of their problem and my heart ached again. I really wanted to help. I knew I couldn't solve the problem, but I yearned truly yearned to help. I am sure I sent silent pleas to God to know what to do though I don't really remember saying them. What I do remember is tossing around ideas until I hit upon one that resonated. It stuck and I couldn't get it out. I didn't want to bring it up while our kids were awake and it seemed kind of crazy, but it was driving me crazy not to tell Guapo about it. So, finally I let out this huge sigh and Guapo got curious and asked the right questions. As I told him, the storm inside of me calmed it was crazy. Then he agreed, and we waited till the kids were in bed to tell our friends. So, we called them and told them what we wanted to do. The accepted and we did it. I felt so much peace. The storm the feelings of the day all subsided I didn't worry about it anymore it was so cool. I have never had quite and experience like that. 

Lastly, this past Sunday night was our church's Live Nativity. There was nothing really special or different about it, but the feeling of peace and stillness that I felt while watching, even with two kids crawling and running around was so powerful to me. It was so nice to gather with people who are celebrating the same things as me, Christ's birth. 

I know these are kind of personal experiences, but if your reading I hope you don't judge this blog is what documents life right now and these experiences are what is making the Christmas magic for me this year.

I promise that the Savior was born to this earth. He lives and loves me. He listens to me and knows exactly what I need even if I don't. I know I have a loving Heavenly Father who blesses me everyday. What a wonderful gift God gave to us so long ago. I am so grateful for this season to celebrate it.

One last note is this Christmas I have noticed how Christmas brings together Christians. We may be all different religions, but on this one holiday we celebrate the same thing. We celebrate together. It is really cool to feel united in that joy.